tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38452043687823181282024-02-06T20:11:55.886-08:00Learning SurrenderThis blog is about my journey in Christ. It's about the struggle to die to self and walk by the spirit. It's about learning to surrender fully to God.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-53804128822330545852012-11-21T14:34:00.001-08:002012-11-21T14:41:37.668-08:00What do I really believe in?Okay, so it's kind of been a while. Sorry. I was busy dealing with a large slice of life-pie. Or cake. Or whatever. Anyway.<br />
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I've been struggling a little with my faith lately, so I thought maybe I'd hop on here and write out a list of the things that I believe. Not just things I've been taught (which is why I'm struggling, I think - if I'd been taught something else, I would probably have grown up believing in <i>that</i>), but things that I deeply believe, because they make sense to me or because I've experienced something... I want to believe 100% in what I've learned about God over the past twelve or thirteen years. I want to... I just don't want it to be even remotely based on blind trust in the stuff I read and the people I've listened to. Because if that's all my faith in God boils down to, it's not going to be solid enough to get me through the hard times in life, when everything else is crashing down around me and nothing is sturdy enough to stand on.<br />
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So. My list. We'll start with the basics, shall we?<br />
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I believe life, the world, the universe... was all created. Because it just had to be. It had to come from somewhere. There's too much logic, too much obvious DESIGN for it to have just happened. And stuff can't come from nothing. Therefore... Someone put it here.<br />
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I believe God is good. I believe I can trust God to do good towards me. Because I believe that God loves me. Even when something doesn't look good from here, I believe I can trust God that it is somehow better than what I think I want that I'm not getting. Anyone who was willing to allow his only (and perfect) son, mysteriously also somehow a part of himself, to die in my place obviously loves me and wants the best for me.<br />
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I believe God created me and knew exactly who I would be and every decision I would ever make from the BEGINNING OF TIME. Which is unfathomably cool. <br />
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I believe, therefore, that I have value because I was created by God.<br />
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I believe God not only created me and gave me life, but also that he purposely created me imperfect. Incomplete. Because that's what draws me, as a human being, to him. That's what creates the desire for relationship in my heart. Also, that's what allows me to understand and know the vastness of his love. To love someone who is perfect is no feat at all. But perfect love can love the flawed. The incomplete. The broken. The human being. <br />
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I believe we somehow have the freedom to choose, but that also God is the author of all of life and foreknew every decision every person would ever make. I believe this is impossible to fully comprehend. But I also believe it's okay not to understand everything. Because knowing something is beyond your understanding... that's what causes WONDER. And to have wonder and awe is a very cool thing. It's okay because God understands and knows, and we don't have to worry about it. It's liberating, really.<br />
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I believe Jesus. Tons of people heard him speak. Heard him say what people were thinking in their hearts. Saw him heal illnesses and cast out demons. (Not sure what that looks like.) People saw him back from the dead. If these accounts were not true, I believe there would have been a lot of dispute against them from the beginning when they were written. Right? Plus the timing of his birth lining up with the planets and the appearance of a bright star in the sky moving and then standing still over Bethlehem... that's crazy cool. And other prophecies... The prophecies about him all turned out to be 100% accurate. How does that happen apart from God's inspiration? Therefore, I believe God speaks to and through people. Somehow. I've never experienced it, but I'm sure it's not the same with everyone he speaks to because from what I've read and heard of people's experiences with God, there's a lot of diversity in his approach with various people. Dreams, burning bushes, angels...<br />
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Also, I <i>feel</i>. I feel <i>guided</i>. I guess that's the Holy Spirit in me. I don't remember ever feeling that guidance before I believed in Christ. That conviction of "you need to do this now." That sense of "this is right, this is true. That isn't." Don't remember feeling any of that before I believed, either. But then, I was only 12, so it could have been that I was just young and hadn't experienced those kinds of feelings yet. Hadn't reached that level of self-awareness. Conscience. I don't know. I just know I feel things. Things I couldn't know from experience. There are deep truths that are somehow inside of me, and I don't know how they got there.<br />
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I believe I don't know much. And I'll never know much, compared to how much there is to know. Relative to God, I know pretty much nothing. I believe humility is important in relating to God. I believe... I don't know where I'm going with this.<br />
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I believe it is good to be intentional. And organized. And humble. And wise. And in-the-moment. And loving. And kind. And peaceful. But I believe it is hard. I believe life is a journey and not a destination. I believe we struggle for a reason. Because we were created with shortcomings. Because how else can we learn and grow? How else can we appreciate God's mercy and grace? How else can we learn to depend on God? How else can we comprehend his love? That's the purpose of life, isn't it? To bring joy to the Father, and to learn to comprehend his love? To receive his love?<br />
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Hmm. I therefore believe that life, at it's core, is really quite simple. I believe we make it complex. I believe it <i>is </i>very complex, in many ways. But what really matters is what I just wrote in the paragraph above. The other stuff we get tangled in isn't the real stuff - the good stuff. Well, no. It's real. But it's not forever. It's not as big as it seems. It's just another obstacle. And it doesn't have to be overwhelming. I believe God doesn't put us through things we can't handle - so long as we rely on him. If we try to rely on ourselves I believe there's plenty we can't handle. Because we're not whole. Not perfect. Not complete apart from God. We were created to be the receiving end of a love relationship. How can we then function without the Lover on the giving end? Not well. Not well at all.<br />
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Still. I believe it is difficult to turn from the distractions and everything around us that fights for our attention. I believe it is hard to feel certain about things we can't see. I believe it's hard (sometimes) to really <i>feel </i>loved by a God who is spirit, when we are flesh.<br />
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But I believe life is a struggle for a reason. I believe it is somehow best this way. Because like I said before, I believe that God is good. I believe that he loves us. I believe he is trustworthy and knows what he's doing. And I believe I'm going to stand on that.<br />
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Yeah. I feel better now. Still would love to see some more evidence of God in my life. Experience him more. But you know, I probably am and I'm just overlooking it because I'm so freaking distracted by all the STUFF. So. Maybe this is just another lesson. Another obstacle to draw me closer to him and help me to understand the depth of his love for me just a little bit better. <br />
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Or I could be wrong. Who knows? But I rest in the faith that while I may be wrong about this - and about a LOT of things - God is right. He knows, he understands, he's got it under control. And that's okay with me.<br />
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-63936519777233405542012-04-14T13:34:00.003-07:002012-04-14T13:35:48.335-07:00Make the Most of Every OpportunityThe title really says it all this time. I heard this on the radio yesterday and just wanted to jot it down here so I wouldn't forget. Time is precious, and we waste SO much of it. As followers of Christ, we need to make the most of every opportunity we have to reach out, to serve, to bring God's light into the world while we have time.<br /><br />That's it.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-1658791000650682482012-04-14T13:13:00.004-07:002012-04-14T13:36:26.716-07:00Untapped PotentialHaven't finished this sermon yet, but this is definitely something I want to write down and remember. The sermon title is "We Are All, pt. 1." The guy was talking about how we live our lives with this attitude like we have some great, hidden reserve of untapped potential, and if we could just tap into it, we could do anything. We think so highly of ourselves, like Peter did when he said that he would never deny Christ, even if he had to die with him. We think we won't fail because we're "better than that." Or we feel disappointed in ourselves when we do fail, because we think we should have been "better than that." <br /><br />But we're NOT. That's why we need a savior.<br /><br />So in reality, being disappointed in ourselves is actually a kind of pride. We're not better than that. And try as we might, we can't change ourselves and become better than that. The only way we can ever become holy or good is by drawing near to God. We have to remember how needy and dependent we are, or we'll let go of the only One who can help us. <br /><br />One more point from the sermon that I'd like to include before I wrap this up. Some people say Christianity is a crutch. That it's only for the weak. That is true. But what so many people don't realize is that we're ALL weak. And if you refuse a crutch because you don't want to seem weak, but in reality you're missing a leg (and somehow you haven't noticed), you really won't be any better off. You still won't be able to walk, no matter how hard you try. The guy who accepts the crutch, however, realizes and accepts his weakness, and ends up getting around a lot better than the other guy.<br /><br />So I guess my point is, accept your weakness. God's strength is made perfect in weakness, anyway. And he knows you can't be holy on your own. So (this is especially what I need to hear) stop being disappointed in yourself, stop trying to be holy on your own, and just draw near to God and let the Spirit guide you.<br /><br />Simple, but incredibly, incredibly hard to do.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-53055122081402846582012-04-11T20:57:00.002-07:002012-04-11T21:00:08.814-07:00It's All About JesusSimple but profound lesson today. Matter of fact, it can be summed up in one sentence. "It's not about us - it's about Jesus!" Seriously. The sermon title was "Jesus Is Healer," I think. That or "Jesus Heals." It was good. It was especially good for me because I'm learning to die to myself right now, and that's easier (not easy, but easier) to do when you remember it's not about you anyway. :)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-26506520983944852712012-04-10T20:27:00.002-07:002012-04-10T20:36:17.451-07:00Epic Homemade Muffin CerealOkay, guys. This is EPIC! I was looking for a good soaked grain muffin recipe, and I found this one and decided to give it a try. http://gnowfglins.com/2010/04/21/erins-spiced-oatmeal-yogurt-muffins/ It seems like a pretty cool website, too - not just for the recipe, but in general. You should check it out. <br /><br />Anyway, the muffins turned out a little crumbly and dry, and they were slightly overdone around the outside edges, although that might just be our oven. I've been having trouble getting used to it - it seems hotter than most ovens I've used. But moving on... Kaira and I enjoyed the muffins over a couple of days, and while we were enjoying them I left them sitting out on a plate in the open air. The crumbs, which were all over the plate, because did I mention the muffins came out CRUMBLY? Like super super crumbly? The crumbs dried out, and I thought, hmm, I wonder if I can pour these in a bowl of milk and eat them like cereal? And OH! It was GOOD!!!! Way better than the muffins, though again that could have mostly been the fault of my oven. Also, they might have been more moist if I had used honey or maple syrup as the sweetener instead of whole sugar. Maybe I'll try that one day.<br /><br />So anyhow, today I made another batch and I just baked the whole thing in a huge stoneware rectangular cake pan thing. Like a batch of brownies. And when they were done I ran a spatula through it and crumbled it to bits, then put it back in the oven at 150 degrees for several hours to dry the crumbs out. And YES! Successfully made cereal. On purpose this time! <br /><br />I'll try to get some pictures up here one day. But WOW! And this is unprocessed, GOOD FOR YOU cereal! Not slow suicide in a box. :) It's amazing!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-77930052004562114372012-04-10T20:20:00.003-07:002012-04-10T20:26:54.064-07:00My FoodI'm having a really tough time right now, but the message I listened to this evening really helped. Not even five minutes into the sermon, the guy talked about how Jesus said that his food was to do the will of his Father. Not just to hear about it, not just to think about it a lot, but to DO it. And I realized... that's my whole problem right there. I want to be satisfied in God. (The message was entitled "Jesus Satisfies.") But so often I try to find satisfaction through people, accomplishments, and material things instead. Why? Because I'm NOT fully satisfied in God. Because I can't be. I'm not doing the will of the Father. In some areas I am, but in many areas I am either struggling or not even trying. So tonight I prayed that God would put a new heart in me - to help me be more passionate for him and to give me opportunities and words to speak. Basically, just to guide me in general.<br /><br />I am hopeful. I want so badly to be transformed. I want to change!<br /><br />I really need to get to work on that book. That's one thing I know God wants me to do, and I keep putting it off. No wonder I don't feel fulfilled.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-49647756032626630232012-04-09T12:14:00.002-07:002012-04-09T12:25:33.360-07:00The Riches of His LoveThis is gonna be a quick post, 'cause I'm going to go take a nap in a minute. But I wanted to make sure I got this down before I forgot.<br /><br />Yesterday was Easter. I did listen to the first half of one of the cornerstonesimi.com sermons, but I want to write about something I heard at Southside. It was actually part of one of the songs, but it didn't really hit me until Darrel said something about it near the end of the evening. The words go like this: "Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough." The riches of God's love will always be enough. And here's why this impacted me so much. I'd been struggling with feeling kind of unsatisfied. Unfulfilled, like I didn't have enough. Enough love from my husband, or enough free time to enjoy life, or enough money... whatever. The list goes on. But there I was singing that the riches of God's love would always be enough for me. Uh, hello? Anyone else seeing a problem here? We ought to mean what we say when we sing to the Lord, and even though I did mean it, I had been blind to the fact that I was living contrary to what I was saying. We can be satisfied in Christ if we just focus on him and stop running after other things. They don't truly fulfill us anyway. They might bring some measure of happiness or satisfaction, but they really only do us any good when they're added to a life that's already satisfied and abundant in God.<br /><br />Lesson learned. For now, at least. :)<br /><br />Also, today I finished that sermon I started watching yesterday. The part that struck me the most was the idea that God is actively and forcefully pursuing us, but not in such a way that he drags us to himself against our will. He pursues us in such a way that our will actually changes, and a genuine desire for Him is ignited within us. And it struck me that this is, once again, similar to natural horsemanship. It's also very similar to the way a man pursues a woman. If he wants her to truly love him, he doesn't just take her by force. He may put a great amount of effort into winning her over, but he doesn't take her anywhere against her will. He works to cause her to fall in love with him so that she desires to follow him.<br /><br />So. Thought that was a pretty cool analogy of the love and pursuit of God for his people. How awesome. <br /><br />I think I'll sleep on that for a while. :) I'm exhausted. I need to try that "go to bed by ten every night for six nights" thing again and see if I can't do any better this time around.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-91070409774173147732012-04-07T19:29:00.003-07:002012-04-07T19:57:54.898-07:00Jesus Is After Our HeartsI could probably write a REALLY long entry tonight, but I'm going to try to keep it fairly concise if I can. The sermon I watched today was another really good one. "Jesus Is More Than Enough Part 2." What stood out the most to me was when he said that Jesus isn't after getting us to do all these things and fulfill commandments. He's after our hearts. Because if he can get our hearts, we'll WANT to do the things he's commanded. For example, don't steal. If someone's heart had been totally won over and they were absolutely devoted to Christ, are they going to take something from somebody else? No. So love fulfills the law. On the other hand, if someone could do every action required by the laws of God, they could still lack love. And there's a phenomenal difference between someone who's driven by love and someone who's doing all the right things but whose actions are empty.<br /><br />The reason this one part stood out to me so much was because it made SO MUCH SENSE to me as a horse trainer. The difference between natural horsemanship (which is all about gaining the horse's heart first, and then using that bond as a basis for all other training) and other schooling or training methods is huge. You can teach a horse to do all the right actions, but you can see such a huge difference in the horse that has a genuine bond with the trainer. Everything is... just fuller. That's what Jesus wants in us. Not empty actions. Heart.<br /><br />I didn't actually get to the end of the sermon. The computer was having trouble downloading the whole thing for some reason. But I'm glad I got that part. <br /><br />As far as how my day went, I haven't felt particularly lonely today, but I have felt unfocused and kind of shallow. I prayed a couple of times today, and that really helped me organize my thoughts a little. Also, it helped me come to an interesting conclusion about my "shallowness." I don't remember ever being deeply impacted by anything growing up. Every time I read about someone who remembers something from when they were like four, and they tell you exactly what they felt at that time and how it influenced them, I think... is something wrong with me? I just feel like my whole life things have only kind of scratched the surface. Stuff doesn't affect me a whole lot. Internal stuff does, but not external. I want to have a crazy passionate love for God, but I don't think I have the capacity for crazy passionate love. And that's something I'm gonna have to let him work on in me. Because here's the conclusion I came to. I don't feel "shallow" because I'm actually shallow. If I were a glass, I don't think I'd be a super shallow glass. It's just that something can only go so far into it because the bottom of the glass is full of all kinds of junk that gets in the way. If you tried to stick your hand in and touch the bottom, you wouldn't even get close. When I say junk, I'm thinking of all the stuff that I've been trained. All the actions that I learned that were empty and un-motivated. All the proper responses. All the time I spent doing activities and playing games and feeling like nothing really meant anything.<br /><br />When a horse has been overly "trained" and seems to have no heart left and all kinds of emotional problems and fear reactions and stuff, before they can start doing any natural horsemanship training, they have to give the horse a long period of re-naturalization time. Time for it to just learn to be a horse. To be free. To be itself, not just what it was taught to be. I think that's what I need right now. I think that's what God wanted me to understand today. I need to somehow simplify my life enough that I can really slow down and just learn how to be me. I'm so distracted trying to get things done that I really can't focus very well on that right now. So I need to try and get organized, 'cause I need to figure out who I am, particularly in light of who God is. I need to let God get all the junk out so that I can become deeper and have the capacity to love and worship and serve like he wants me to.<br /><br />So. That was kind of long, and that's not even everything that's going through my mind right now, but it's pretty good, I think, so I'll sign off. Plus Wes just got home. :) Gotta go spend some time with the hubby.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-65816963252634060452012-04-06T19:50:00.003-07:002012-04-06T20:13:20.701-07:00New GoalSo it just occurred to me how much I really benefit from listening to good, solid teaching about God. Maybe it's partly because I'm alone here so much (well, taking care of a two-year-old and a six-month-old... but as far as adult conversation and socialization goes, very alone) and it fills some kind of gap in my life. Or maybe it's just because it keeps me on track spiritually - helps me to remember my priorities, which are very easily forgotten. In any case, the more I listen, the more "right" I feel. So with that in mind, I've just decided that my "thing to work on" for the month of April is this: I'm going to watch a sermon at cornerstonesimi.com every day, blog (maybe) about what I learned and what really stood out to me or touched me, and see where I am at the end of the month. I have a feeling this will effect a great deal of change in my life. We'll see soon enough.<br /><br />Today I watched the second half of the sermon entitled "Jesus Is More Than Enough." Two things really stood out to me. First, the thing where Paul had the thorn in the flesh deal going on, whatever that was. He prayed that the Lord would take it from him, but his answer was "My grace is sufficient for you." God/Jesus told him that his strength was made perfect in weakness, and then Paul wrote that he would boast more in his weaknesses because of the way it magnified God. I may be misunderstanding (often a possibility with me) but when I read that it seems like it's saying that the fact that we are weak and fail in certain areas only increases the display of the goodness of God. His mercy and strength and patience are just HUGE, and it shows when we fail and he continues to love us. I also think this verse is about being honest and real about where you are, so that God can meet you there and work on you.<br /><br />Also, the pastor talked about how important it is to know the REAL Jesus; not some Jesus we've invented in our own minds. What he cares about is our holiness. And stuff that we go through (like Paul's trials) serve to increase our holiness in some way. <br /><br />Also, we really don't have anything to offer God. But he doesn't need anything from us. (The verses the sermon covered were the ones about the loaves and fish that Jesus multiplied.) So that's what we can give to God as an offering - our nothing. Our helplessness. And he pulls us through these things and strengthens us and makes us more like himself. So everything - marriage trials, hunger, sickness, financial troubles... whatever. We're weak, but we give him our struggles and let his strength be made perfect in our weakness.<br /><br />It was a great sermon! I feel really... hmm, good word for this... positive. Hopeful. My trials seem small right now, and the reminder that God brings us into various trials in order to benefit us and make us more holy... I needed that reminder. It makes everything make sense. Gives everything a good and divine purpose. I feel so much better right now - I feel so trusting. I'm very happy right now.<br /><br />I've been struggling today with loneliness. Wes worked all day, was home for a little over half an hour (almost all of which he spent with me and the girls, though! Yay!) and then he left again to hang out with Noah and Kevin. I knew he was going to go, but still, I was a little depressed when he left. But he needs that time, and I need to trust God with my husband. (We've been having some communication issues lately and I'm frustrated and want to work through them, while Wes is more of an "I need time and space" kind of guy. So my patience is being tested as well.) Anyway, all that to say that this sermon was exactly what I needed! I feel more attached to God now and I think I'll be able to back off and be less flung about and tormented by my emotions. Or, in other words, I think I'll be less needy and dependent on Wes and other people to fill my needs and help me work through my feelings, and more dependent on God. Which, of course, is exactly how things should be.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-4988069415155064622012-03-29T09:22:00.002-07:002012-03-29T10:35:41.831-07:00Prayer updateOkay. So I haven't been keeping up with my blog at all. Sorry about that - if there's anyone actually reading it, that is. Haha.<br /><br />Thing is, I've been facing some pretty tough spiritual and emotional trials, and I haven't really felt much like blogging. I did write a little bit in my personal journal. I'm just trying to work through some things right now - hurts and stuff from the past that apparently I haven't processed and completely healed from yet.<br /><br />Anyway, I have been praying. There were a few days there when I didn't pray much at all. Too deep in my hurts, I guess. Too deep in myself. <br /><br />God has been teaching me through all this. One day, there were several things I came to understand a little better. The first was letting go of pride. There's a song that says "Letting go of my pride, I lay down my desires, just to worship in spirit in truth." That's a pretty profound line to meditate on for a while. <br /><br />Then there was this: Don't pray just to pray. I don't think "small talk" with God is a good way to pray. Like when you decide you want to pray, and then after you make that decision, you start thinking about what you could pray about. Because that's doing it backwards. I think we should pray about things that are truly on our hearts. Things that we care deeply about. Things we won't forget about an hour later. Because when we take things before the almighty creator of the world, I just don't think we should be thoughtless or careless about it. I think we should be very deep about it. If that makes sense.<br /><br />And then this: Don't stress - just do what you need to at the moment and then get to the next thing when you can. I've been having a hard time staying calm and self-controlled whenever two or more things seem to demand my attention at the same time. For example, I'm cooking a meal and Rachel wakes up and starts to cry. But really all I can do is decide which is more urgent at the moment and do that thing first, then get to the other thing as soon as possible. There's no need to worry about it. It isn't going to hurt Rachel if she has to wait for me for a few minutes so that I can prepare dinner for myself and Kaira. It's that simple, really.<br /><br />So those are some of the things I learned. I've also been learning a lot about how to work through pain - the right way, not by stuffing it and letting it tear you apart later and lead you into depression.<br /><br />Yeah. So that's it for now. More later.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-53279418649904571792012-03-19T18:43:00.002-07:002012-03-19T19:24:11.963-07:00Focus on PrayerYesterday I decided I wanted to focus on growing in one area for the next couple of weeks. There are so many areas I want to improve in that I usually don't focus on any single thing long enough to really make any progress, so it seemed like a wise thing to try. One thing at a time. Plus it should help me with my focusing in general, which is one of my four big goals for 2012.<br /><br />Anyhow, I prayed about it and it felt like the Spirit was leading me to focus on... well, prayer. Then this morning I got a text from a friend - a simple Bible verse. "1 Thessalonians 5:17. Never stop praying." Well, that pretty much confirmed it for me, so until the end of the month, I will be focusing on prayer - praying more often throughout the day, going to God in different situations for guidance... <br /><br />So I'll be blogging about it (hopefully) every evening, to record my experience and (hopefully) growth in this area. I'm also expecting, and actually already experiencing, some spiritual opposition throughout this journey, since that tends to happen whenever someone really tries to seek and follow the Lord. <br /><br />Yesterday went really well. I was more focused than usual and on several occasions I pulled myself away from the activities and tasks of the day to pray and kind of regroup. Get my mind focused and remind myself of my priorities, and also give God a chance to sort of teach me and guide me. There's something about quiet solitude, even if it's not completely quiet or you're not completely alone? Even just a little quieter and... uh, solitudier? It makes a big difference. Hard to really listen for the still small voice of the Spirit when you're super-distracted by everything around you. Though I'm sure it's possible to learn to kind of pull yourself away from everything without actually physically going anywhere, I'm, uh... not there yet. Lol.<br /><br />I will say something that I learned yesterday was that I'm very bothered by the fact that I pretty much go on autopilot whenever I'm talking to people. I've known this for some time, but it was the one thing that kept breaking my focus throughout the day, the one thing that I kept struggling with and then feeling bad about. I know I'm too hard on myself too, but I REALLY want to be good at this - more in the moment and more real, and not just this whole automatic response thing where at the end of the conversation(s) I look back and feel like I missed the entire thing. Like I wasn't really there at all.<br /><br />So that was yesterday. Today I was really tired, (we stayed up late last night hanging out with Matthew, who's visiting from Germany) and I even though I prayed quite a bit I also spent a lot of time over-thinking things and then over-complicating my thoughts and feelings, and just laying on the couch watching TV with my girls. Spiritual opposition? Maybe. Maybe I just don't do very well on my own with two little ones all day. Wes was gone all morning with the Germans doing mission stuff (which is awesome!) and then he had to leave for work almost as soon as he got back, so I've been kinda lonely and I've had my hands full... And it's hard for me to process thoughts and feelings in my head. This is something I learned from talking to Sarah yesterday. Apparently I need to either talk or write things out in order to really process them. Which I guess is another reason I'm blogging, huh?<br /><br />So today I felt pretty down at times. But I continued to pray and sing to God and try to focus on Him and on my blessings, and on being content. I won't say I did a fantastic job, but... well, there's always tomorrow, I guess. Forgetting what's behind and pressing on to what is ahead. Living in the moment. Seeking the presence of God.<br /><br />Yeah. So this is me signing off for tonight. I gotta get some rest. I think that'll make a big difference in my emotions. Guess I'll find out tomorrow, haha.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-21340685774706243932012-03-10T20:15:00.004-08:002012-03-30T13:16:55.698-07:00Great day, plus an amazing recipe for EPIC CHOCOLATE ALMOND COOKIES!!!I had an amazing day today. We have some new friends, Joshua and Sarah, that we met a couple of weeks ago at Southside (our church). Apparently they've known Wesley's uncle/our pastor for quite some time, but our paths have only just now finally crossed - and I'm so glad they did! What a BLESSING!!! <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0fqnlk_xMI7jLcw30EmaVgRlT90ytn2yqwW_pK5njzQUK2EeCeDZS78Jf0GemAMioEkzH-ZOiG9DmTk5_kH6-eVSODPdXps5m8XAqFBqqLC9kWsP_hSnKWLVEOoUQoVWBdZpaWL6_rtH3/s1600/021.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0fqnlk_xMI7jLcw30EmaVgRlT90ytn2yqwW_pK5njzQUK2EeCeDZS78Jf0GemAMioEkzH-ZOiG9DmTk5_kH6-eVSODPdXps5m8XAqFBqqLC9kWsP_hSnKWLVEOoUQoVWBdZpaWL6_rtH3/s320/021.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718492374601333858" /></a><br /><br />We had a great time the other night starting a game of Lord of the Rings Risk, which we finished today. And even more exciting, both Josh and Sarah are writers, so we got to spend a ton of time discussing our books, our reasons for writing, characters, plot outlining, and all that good writer stuff. :) They also really reminded me WHY we do this - we're writing not just to entertain, but to share a message. We're essentially teaching God to the world through the art of story, and as teachers of God's message we bear a tremendous responsibility to do our absolute best. It was very motivating, and I think we're going to be a great encouragement to one another, not to mention how wonderful it is to have like-minded people to bounce ideas off of... I'm so excited about this new friendship!!!<br /><br />They were here all day, so we did some other stuff too - among which was BAKING! :) Sarah is very sensitive to gluten, so she eats only gluten-free foods... so we made THESE. They were SO GOOD. I should have taken pictures. Sorry about that.<br /><br />Anyway, Sarah and I adapted this from a recipe I loved from the Nourishing Traditions cookbook, written by Sally Fallon. (You can find the original recipe either in the book, obviously, or copied down on another blog here: http://kellythekitchenkop.com/2009/10/gluten-free-almond-cookies-made-with-arrowroot-flour-real-food-wednesday.html)<br /><br />Here is my and Sarah's variation: Epic Chocolate Almond Cookies :)<br /><br />1 1/2 cups almonds<br />1/2 cup softened coconut oil<br />1 cup arrowroot flour<br />1/2 cup whole sugar<br />1/2 teaspoon sea salt<br />4 tablespoons cocoa powder<br />1 teaspoon vanilla extract<br />1 teaspoon almond extract<br /><br />Place almonds in a blender or food processor and process to a fine meal. Add remaining ingredients and mix until well blended. (I didn't have enough almonds, so I made up for it with extra arrowroot flour. My dough turned out pretty dry, so we added some water to moisten it.) Form dough into walnut-sized balls and place on cookie sheets. Press down on the cookies to flatten them a little.<br /><br />Bake at 300* for a total of about 20 minutes. Let cool completely before moving to an airtight container. Store in refrigerator.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-9467713481199117032012-03-09T17:47:00.002-08:002012-03-09T17:54:20.896-08:00Profound RevelationThis is going to be really quick, as I have some writing I'd really like to work on this evening. But I had to jot this down so I wouldn't forget. I was just heating up some dinner for myself (a seemingly mundane task, right?) when I suddenly realized something very profound. It was one of those Holy Spirit things, I think. And here it is:<br /><br />I should be spending a great deal more of my energy in striving to love God and serve him <span style="font-weight:bold;">where I am</span>, rather than spending so much of it on trying to get <span style="font-weight:bold;">someplace better</span>.<br /><br />Whoa. Right? Enough said. I could meditate on that thought alone for... well, weeks, probably. Maybe it'll be some help to some of you out there, too. I hope so.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-90229678719388587862012-03-08T10:08:00.003-08:002012-03-08T10:10:11.069-08:00Quote of the dayRan into this on Facebook and wanted to share it here. Going through some internal struggles right now, and this really spoke to me.<br /><br />"You need faith for the big picture, to never lose sight of the outcome God has prepared for you. But the moment brings a deep need for trust, in that the God awaiting you at the end will guide you toward getting there. Trust is today’s experience with God." –David StephensStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-33646822311002034242012-02-27T19:38:00.002-08:002012-03-30T13:15:54.973-07:00"She watches over the ways of her household."I've been looking at Proverbs 31 a little lately, (about the virtuous wife) and one verse has really been sticking out to me. "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." <br /><br />To me, at this moment in my life, it is speaking about financial stuff. Wes asked me before we were even married if I would manage our finances. That was one thing that really stressed him out, and he didn't think he could handle it. I agreed to do it, but I haven't always been very consistent. <br /><br />For instance, we're pretty tight on money right now, and have been for a while, though some times are a little less tight than others. I've tried a few times to put us on a cash system - it's so much easier to know how much you have and how much you're spending when you can actually SEE it! Cards make it hard to keep track of - at least for us. We're more likely to go over on spending if we're using cards, because it's convenient and you can't tell when you're running out. <br /><br />Anyway, I never was consistent enough with making withdrawals and keeping track of income and outflow to see how much we could spend and how much we could save... so we've had some trouble putting any money back for savings. This is something I would really like to get better at, and after reading that verse, I'm happy to say that I have added "check on finances" to my weekly list in my homemaking organization notebook. Every Monday, along with my other tasks, I will now be checking on our bank account and looking at our income and outflow, making sure things are on track and calculating how much money I can withdraw for us to use for groceries and spending. <br /><br />To me, it's a way that I can "watch over the ways of my household." It's also a way that I can honor my husband, by doing what he requested of me to the best of my ability and by not being inconsistent with it (which would show that his requests are not a priority to me like they should be).Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-41151276333856229302012-02-27T19:23:00.004-08:002012-02-27T19:38:22.801-08:00Teacher or student?This is another lesson from a sermon at cornerstonesimi.com. "You can't be a good teacher unless you first become a good student." Or something like that. <br /><br />Deep stuff. Our own pastor (also Wes's uncle) Darrel Auvenshine is one of the greatest conversationalists I've ever met. He is a wise and good counselor. A while ago, another pastor, Scott Sharman, explained to me why that was. Darrel is a good listener. He goes into a conversation as a student first, a teacher second. He genuinely cares about what you have to say, and he listens and forms a wise and honest opinion before saying anything. <br /><br />Me on the other hand - well, I'd like to be like that. One day. But right now, I tend to speak before I listen. When I'm listening, I'm also trying to work out what I'm going to say next, so I'm not really fully listening. (There's that focus thing again, popping up to nip me in the rear.) I'm so caught up in thinking about getting MY point across that I don't really listen to THEM. Selfishness. Another major struggle for me.<br /><br />Also, I think it's a matter of mind vs. heart. I'm thinking more than caring. I do that a lot. It's something I've really been working on lately. <br /><br />But I really do want to learn to be a better listener. I want to speak less, but speak more thoughtfully. I want to truly care. I want to consider my words well before I say them. I want to be wise! <br /><br />I think it'll come with learning to slow down, focus, and be more in tune with the Holy Spirit. <br /><br />The concept of being a student before you can be a teacher doesn't just apply to conversations, though. It applies to everything. If you want to have a solid opinion about something, you'd better listen to some other opinions first and make an informed decision about what you believe. If you want to teach something, you'd better make sure you understand it well first. We shouldn't rush to be teachers. The good teachers are the ones who really take time to learn their stuff first.<br /><br />And if you haven't done so yet, you should definitely check out cornerstonesimi.com! They have some AMAZING sermons!!! (Cornerstone is Francis Chan's church - the author of <span style="font-style:italic;">Crazy Love</span>.)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-67614029820540534332012-02-27T19:09:00.004-08:002012-02-27T19:23:10.469-08:00No evolution from flesh to spiritSome thoughts on a sermon I just heard at cornerstonesimi.com:<br /><br />The pastor said (among many other things) that "there is no evolution from the flesh to the spirit." I may not have quoted him word for word, but it was something very close to that. At any rate, it reminded me of Galatians chapter 3 where it says: <blockquote>Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?</blockquote><br />We can't be righteous on our own. Can't be holy. Can't be perfect. Not by God's standards. No matter how hard we try, (and I have tried VERY hard, many times) flesh can never become spirit. Only by drawing near to God do we become holy - not because WE change, but because HE changes us. We grow and learn to walk in the spirit by loving and seeking God. And we seek God and draw near to him by following Jesus Christ.<br /><br />Just some thoughts. I frequently struggle with trying to change, so this is very meaningful to me. I try and try, but all I do is frustrate myself every time because I CAN'T change. Then I am reminded some way or another that God changes us - we don't change ourselves. Then I'm good for a while, and then at some point I start drifting back into my old habits again - I stop seeking God as much and start putting more effort into trying to change myself. Again. And then after I'm so frustrated I'm ready to pop, God reminds me (again) that drawing near to him is what's important, and that true, lasting change comes only when I put him first and seek him with all my heart. <br /><br />You'd think I'd have learned by now. Well, I can be a pretty slow learner sometimes. I'm just thankful that God is so patient with me and loves me enough to put up with my slowness. :)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-34435914514098160332012-02-22T12:31:00.000-08:002012-03-30T13:16:55.699-07:00Homemade Cinnamon RollsThe other day Wes took me out to play miniature golf. We had a nice little bet going, too. If I won, we would get some Italian food and watch a sermon online together. If he won, we'd go to the store and get a package of crescent roll dough so I could make mini cinnamon rolls.<br /><br />Well, Wes won, but we didn't go to the store right away. We came home to let Rachel take a nap. And she slept a little longer than we expected her to. As it turned out, Wes was planning to take me out to an Italian place anyway, whether I won or not. (I was very happy about this!) But we were running out of time before church, so we woke Rachel up and drove to the restaurant. I say all this to explain why we didn't end up going to the store to get crescent roll dough. And after church my brother came home with us and he and Wes hung out and played XBox. <br /><br />While they were gaming, I thought I'd just try to make some cinnamon rolls from scratch and surprise Wes. (They thought I was just making Epic Cookies - which I was, but in between batches I was finding and making THESE.)<br /><br />http://iowagirleats.com/2011/05/13/no-yeast-required-cinnamon-rolls/<br /><br />They are SO GOOD!!! I didn't have cream cheese, so I just made regular frosting with powdered sugar and water. (I doubt Wes would have liked cream cheese frosting, anyway.) I also didn't have brown sugar, so I just used white (organic), and I didn't have quite enough butter for the recipe, so I used some butter and some coconut oil. What else... Oh, I didn't have buttermilk either, but I did have some raw milk that had started to sour, so I used that plus a little bit of vinegar - and it turned out I had EXACTLY one cup of milk, which was what the recipe called for. :) I was very happy about that.<br /><br />Wesley LOVED them! He said they were even better than the mini cinnamon rolls I used to make with packaged crescent roll dough. I'm so excited, because I'm trying to make as much food as I can from scratch now - this was kind of a special thing since he requested them, so I didn't mind, but I'm so glad things turned out the way they did! Now I have this great recipe that I'm sure I'll use whenever I make cinnamon rolls from now on.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-83488906578108035792012-02-18T08:29:00.001-08:002012-02-18T08:43:57.428-08:00Stuff I'm learning about myselfAs I strive to become more organized, I'm learning there are some things that I'm taking to pretty well and others that I'm really struggling with, for whatever reason. For example: I'm doing pretty well keeping up with my new home management binder, making to-do lists and meal plans and grocery lists, but I'm struggling with consistently doing some of the tasks I've set out to accomplish. Particularly making the bed on a daily basis and going to bed before 10:30. <br /><br />I don't know why making the bed is so hard. I did it every morning growing up, but for some reason, now I'm slacking in that area. Maybe it's because nobody ever comes in our room, so making the bed seems unimportant in relation to some of the other things I could choose to do with my time. But on the other hand, it's not like it takes that long, and I feel much better about myself when I get it done. I like keeping a neat home, and having an unmade bed keeps it from feeling neat (to me). <br /><br />I know exactly why getting to bed earlier is hard. After the girls go to bed, I have free time! Well, sort of. I use a lot of it to catch up with chores that I didn't finish during the day - it's a lot easier to get them done when nobody needs feeding or changing or holding. But after I catch up on tasks around the house I usually take some time to get on the computer or read or do something else that I enjoy. And then I don't want to stop! I could be as tired as... well, I can't think of any clever endings to that phrase at the moment, but I can be extremely tired and still I will choose to stay up and blog, or read, or whatever. Which is honestly a little selfish, because my family depends on me and being well-rested is one of the ways I can keep my strength and energy up and make sure I'm fully capable of meeting their needs. Yet I choose to have a little more "me" time instead. And that's turning out to be a really hard habit for me to break! I want to make the selfless choice, but it's really been a struggle!<br /><br />So I'm thinking in order to overcome this, I'll set a goal to go to bed early every night for six nights, (unless we're not at home or something) and then maybe I'll let myself stay up late one night and do stuff I enjoy, and then back to the six days. <br /><br />I'll let you know how it goes. My goal is to start getting enough rest so that I can get up before my husband and kiddos and have some quiet time with the Lord in the mornings before the day begins. I'm thinking maybe I can take the dog out and fix breakfast, too, which will make my mornings much easier! (Not easy taking the dog out and cooking once the girls are up - they both need changing and Rachel needs to be fed, and sometimes it seems to take forever before I get breakfast made.)<br /><br />Anyway, now I'm kind of rambling, so I'll sign off for now. Later!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-54850825644150058062012-02-17T20:00:00.000-08:002012-02-17T20:08:36.423-08:00Speak less, but speak more thoughtfullySomething the Holy Spirit revealed to me today. Or at least, I think it was the Holy Spirit. I have a hard time telling - sometimes I think it's just my imagination. But anyway, that's a whole different post and a whole different struggle.<br /><br />Moving on. So I've really been having a hard time with one of my goals - focus. I'm doing pretty well with the organization, and I haven't really started concentrating on patience and contentment yet... but focus is turning out to be REALLY hard for me.<br /><br />This is one aspect of focus that I would like to, uh, focus on for a while. :) Focus in my speech. This includes prayer. I would really like to learn to speak less, but to speak more thoughtfully. Something I really admire in people (and really desire to have more of myself) is wisdom. And if you think about it, the people who are truly wise are rarely, if ever, the people who talk a lot. They're the quiet ones, who only speak when they actually have something to say. And even better, they actually THINK before they say it.<br /><br />Words are powerful. We really need to choose them carefully. But instead of thinking and considering before we speak, we sling words around mindlessly all day long (at least I do). This is something I really want to work on for the next couple of weeks, or however long it takes me to improve. <br /><br />In other news, I am getting a little better about reminding myself to "be here, now." I'm also getting a little better about consciously choosing the single most important thing (or two) that needs to be done at the moment and focusing fully on it, rather than trying to do or think about ten things at once. <br /><br />A little better. Not a lot, and I'm certainly not satisfied yet, but at least I'm improving. :)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-51061071216325359042012-02-17T19:50:00.000-08:002012-03-30T13:16:55.699-07:00Yummy rub recipeLast week we hosted Lifegroup at our apartment (members of our Lifegroup, a small group from our church, take turns hosting), and Wes wanted to cook a nice dinner for everyone, so I bought a nice brisket at Central Market and Wes was going to fix it in the slow-cooker like a roast. But we didn't have any barbecue sauce, which is what he's used to using for roasts. (I was glad - most barbecue sauces are pretty unhealthy anyway, and we haven't found a healthy one that Wes likes yet.) Anyway, I went online and searched for seasoning recipes for brisket, and I found one to try. I had to modify it a little, as we didn't have all the seasonings it called for... but it was fantastic! Here it is:<br /><br />5 tsp. paprika<br />2 tsp. salt<br />2 tsp. garlic powder<br />1 tsp. black pepper<br />1/2 tsp. ground cumin<br />1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper<br />1/4 tsp. chili powder<br /><br />I used organic everything, of course. Except salt, which obviously can't be organic because you don't grow it, lol. But I did use nice pink Himalayan sea salt. :) It was so delicious! And today I used it again to cook Wes a nice grass-fed steak. (The steak was also delicious.) I mixed up a batch and put it in a little glass bowl so we can just use however much we want and it's already mixed up for whenever we need some. Unless we go and make a huge brisket again, which used the entire batch by itself.<br /><br />Anyway, just wanted to share. You can find the original recipe here: http://www.ehow.com/way_5378918_texas-brisket-rub-recipe.htmlStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-52089334305658552402012-02-16T20:31:00.000-08:002012-02-16T20:54:59.325-08:00Not good enough.Lately I've kind of been struggling with the feeling that I'm not good enough. I feel like I'm failing in my attempts to glorify God with my life. I keep doing things I know not to do, and then on the other hand I keep not doing things I know I should do. (Sound familiar? Romans 6, anyone?) I feel the same way with my mothering and... uh, wifing?. <br /><br />On the spiritual side, I think it's just hard for me to accept the fact that I don't have to be "good enough" for God. That I'm accepted already, just like I am... it feels kind of like I should have to do better or something. Not to earn salvation or anything, but to honor him, I guess. I don't know. To thank him properly. By living for him. You know what I mean, right? But I don't feel like I'm honoring him very well. Like I'm not doing "good enough."<br /><br />I mentioned these feelings in an email to my sister-in-law, along with my frustrations about not being able to focus and be "all there," and her response was so incredibly eye-opening that I had to share it here. <br /><br /><blockquote>...maybe it has to do with the focusing part. You feel all over the place, so in the end you don't feel like you have accomplished anything at all, thus feeling not "good enough". I'm not sure that that exactly makes sense...</blockquote> <br /><br />It totally made sense! It's not like I think I have to be better than I'm capable of being. Life is a journey, after all. You don't just pop up at the end. You develop as you go. God sort of molds and shapes you (if you let him, anyway), and you learn and grow and mature... So no, I don't feel like I have to be perfect. I just feel like I should be doing my best and putting my full effort in, and when I'm trying to do several things at once, or when my mind is wandering or I'm thinking about the next thing that has to be done, I don't give my full effort and attention to what I'm doing at the moment. So therefore I end up feeling like I didn't give it my best (because I didn't) and then I feel guilty because I want to give my best for God. <br /><br />So there it is! Now it makes sense. But just because it makes sense doesn't mean I'll overcome it. God, please HELP ME WITH THIS!!! Haha, isn't it ironic that we need God's help to honor God? Lol. We're so useless on our own. But, you know, if we could be godly and righteous on our own we wouldn't need a savior, would we?Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-38878506529196820912012-02-08T19:14:00.000-08:002012-02-08T19:51:24.660-08:00Worry isn't worth $20Intriguing post title, isn't it? Well, here's the story behind it. Yesterday I bought a new phone with some of our tax return money. Out of all the things I was considering, it seemed a good choice - not because I needed a new phone, but because my current phone plan is around $50 a month, and this phone is for one of those no-contract service providers and will end up being only $30 a month (and I'll have texting!). So it was sort of an investment intended to give us an extra $20 a month, which is going to be really important now that we're going to be kind of tight living off Wes's income.<br /><br />Anyway. I was very excited... until I got home and went online to activate the phone. While I was online an ad popped up at the top of my screen - the same phone was on sale if you bought it on the internet - $20 less. (I paid $60 for the phone.)<br /><br />$20! That's a lot for us right now. I considered taking the phone back, but it was already late and I didn't want to go the next day because then I'd probably have to take Kaira and Rachel with me and it would take quite a while... plus I'd miss out on time with my husband (or as it turned out, a trip to the grocery store so my husband could sleep in - he wasn't feeling well so I think he really appreciated that).<br /><br />But I asked Wes what he thought, and he said not to worry about it - just to go ahead and activate the phone. So I did. <br /><br />And then this morning I was online and they had a smartphone for the same service provider - it was on sale, too (if you bought it online), and it was $50 off it's regular price. With the sale price, the smartphone would have been $10 cheaper than the one I bought!<br /><br />I started kind of wishing I'd waited - but the truth was, I didn't know about the internet sale until after I purchased the phone. I was just making the best decision I could with the information I had at the time. So feeling guilty about it didn't really make sense. <br /><br />And I wasn't only feeling guilty - I kind of started coveting the nicer phone. Until I caught myself. What the heck? The phone I bought was already way nicer than any phone I had ever owned, and I was still going to be saving $20 a month on my phone bill. Why was I investing so much mental energy on being negative - worrying and regretting and coveting a better phone - when I had gotten a great deal and a great phone?<br /><br />I told myself - I would gladly pay much more than $20 to take all the worries and regrets and covetous thoughts out of my life. So why am I worrying over $20? So what if I could have saved it? I didn't know at the time. And I still got a great deal - I was perfectly happy with it <span style="font-weight:bold;">until I started comparing it with something else.</span> I think that was the main thing - it kind of reminded me of Jesus' parable about the workers who worked all day getting paid the same amount as the ones who were hired in the afternoon and only worked a few hours. The ones who worked all day were happy with what they had... until they compared it with something else.<br /><br />So, lesson learned. Keep my eyes on where I am and what I have, and have a thankful heart. Worry isn't worth $20. Or maybe I should rephrase that - $20 isn't worth worrying about.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-16006820718637664222012-02-07T08:46:00.000-08:002012-02-07T08:56:32.806-08:00Home organization binderI read a post yesterday at passionatehomemaking.com about creating a home organization binder, and it seemed like a really good idea, so I think it's something I'm going to try this year. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Here are some things I'd like to incorporate in mine:<br /><br />A page for my life goals, both for godly character traits I would like to possess and things I would like to accomplish<br /><br />A page for my goals for the year - goals in food preparation, writing, homemaking, loving my husband, raising my children, and honoring my God<br /><br />Pages for goals for each month<br /><br />A list of my weekly chores<br /><br />A list of my daily chores<br /><br />Paper for daily to-do lists<br /><br />Paper for weekly grocery lists<br /><br />Paper for weekly meal planning<br /><br /><br />Any ideas or thoughts about this? Am I missing anything?<br /><br />UPDATE: Oh! Here's a thought. Maybe I can do this here on the blog. Hmm. Which would be better, on paper or on the computer? Paper I can take with me. On the computer I'll never have to replace or add pages, and I won't have to buy anything. What if we stop paying for internet?<br /><br />Huh. Maybe I'll start on the computer for now and see how it goes. The only thing I really need on paper is my grocery list, and that takes all of two minutes to copy down onto a scrap of notepaper from the computer, so that's not much... Okay. We'll just try it and see how it goes for now. Can always change my mind later if it doesn't work.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3845204368782318128.post-31996718111918202562012-02-07T08:16:00.000-08:002012-02-07T08:26:08.160-08:00Weekly housekeeping listAll right. I've really been in an organize-my-life sort of mood lately, so while I still feel this way I'm going to go ahead and make a list of some stuff that should probably be done around here on a weekly basis. I'm thinking divide the chores up and do them throughout the week so that there's never too much to do at once, and since everything's being maintained, the place will (hopefully) stay looking pretty nice.<br /><br />There are also some things that have to be done daily (or every other day for some, as needed), so I'll get those out of the way first.<br /><br />Daily - dishes; clean kitchen; vacuum; make the bed; wash diapers; fold diapers; take out trash; pick up clothes, toys, dishes, trash, etc.; check next day's menu and do any necessary food preparation (soaking, marinating, etc.)<br /><br />Weekly...<br /><br />Monday - laundry<br />Tuesday - organize something (one drawer, shelf, etc.)<br />Wednesday - dust surfaces<br />Thursday - grocery store (can be moved to another day depending on Wesley's work schedule)<br />Friday - clean bathrooms<br />Saturday - make up day for anything that got missed<br />Sunday - NOTHING! YAY!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10497559003484410822noreply@blogger.com0