Praise God! It looks like Wesley's going to be able to go to Africa this month. This is amazing. He's wanted to go for years, but he's had some anxiety related health issues that really kept him from doing much of anything. Last year, he could barely go out on a drive to the local shopping mall to look for a job without having an attack. He tried medication, but it didn't help. Then he came before God and repented of some things, and started relying on Christ to get him through difficult situations. Now, less than half a year later, he's working anywhere from six to eleven hours a day at Burlington Coat Factory and, as the title of this post suggests, is scheduled to leave for Burkina Faso, Africa on the 28th of this month.
Wow. See, this is why I wanted to start a blog. God is answering prayers in huge ways right now in my life. Not only is my husband going to Africa (and his first plane ride, haha) but I am experiencing changes in my character that I never would have been able to accomplish on my own.
This blog is actually a good example. When I was a new believer, I was still afraid to bring up God in anything, whether it was written or spoken conversation. The writing came about after a couple of years, and now I'm comfortable saying just about anything on paper (or computer). This includes speaking the truth even when someone might not want to hear it - something I tended to shy away from before God started to change me. See, one of my sins is that I really like to be liked. I know that doesn't sound bad, but when it keeps you from doing God's will, or saying the things He wants you to say, it's definately not a good thing. God's will for me is so much more important than whether or not someone likes what I'm saying. In the end, He's the one I'm going to face, not them. And more than anything in the world, I want to stand before Christ at judgement and hear Him say "well done."
Lately, I've been struggling with the fact that I still have a fear of speaking to people. Especially about important things, and even more so about important things that might offend them. Witnessing is hard for me, but from reading the Word of God, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that, unless we are going out and making disciples, like Jesus commanded, we are not doing His will. I've called myself a follower of Christ for eleven years, and I can't say with certainty that I've led a single person to come to know Him and follow His teachings.
But God is working in my heart. I can see it. Slowly, I'm starting to talk to people. Slowly, I'm learning to share my faith. I'm rejecting the common American teachings of "keep your religion to yourself" and "don't offend people." At first, I was extremely discouraged because no matter how much I wanted to or how hard I tried, I was still afraid, and never seemed to say what needed to be said. But then I realized that if I could change myself on my own, I would not need to rely on God to mold me. Only He can give me courage that I do not have. So now I'm just trusting Him to work in my heart and prepare me for whatever He has in store.
Who knows? Maybe some day I'll be able to go to Africa, too. Maybe God will use me to change someone's life. Maybe He'll use me to bring His word to thousands of lost people. I don't know. I only know I want to be used, for whatever He wants to do with me.
Peace out. Whatever that means. :)