This is probably gonna be a fairly short entry - both the girls are napping but I have no idea how long that will last. :)
Okay. So last night at Lifegroup we talked about resolutions, and the things we'd like to change about ourselves in 2012. I was glad I had already done some thinking on that, but a little embarrassed that I could only remember 3 of the 4 areas I had chosen to focus on. (I forgot "Focus," haha.)
So I was in bed last night, just kind of thinking about those 4 things a little, and I felt God reveal something to me about the subject of focusing, and simplifying my life. It was one word. "Choose."
In order to be more focused on the things that you do, you sometimes have to simplify - to do fewer things so that you can be more fully involved in the things you're doing and not just rushing on to the next item on your list. But in order to do that, duh, we have to make choices. We have to say no to some things.
Before I went to bed last night I played a few rounds of Halo with Wes (my husband). In between rounds, I was carrying on two different Chat conversations on Facebook. And you know what? It was okay, but looking back I wish that I had just chosen one of those three things - Halo, or one of the two conversations - and really focused on it so that I could be "all there."
So today I am trying to be more aware of the choices I make. I've made a list (which is also helping me with one of the other things I'm working on - organization) of things I want to do today, and have tried to keep it simple and include only the things that are truly important to me.
Another thing I struggle with a lot of the time is choosing the right things at the wrong time. When Kaira and Rachel are both awake, that is almost always the WRONG time to write a new blog entry or work on my novel. I end up doing my writing in a semi-distracted state as I try to keep an eye on both my young daughters at the same time, and then I walk away from it feeling guilty for choosing writing over my kids, rather than feeling good about getting something important accomplished.
Don't get me wrong. Blogging and finishing my book are both very important to me. But not so important that they justify ignoring my girls when I could be spending quality time with them.
Now, blogging and writing can both wait. I can always skip either one - or both - for the day and pick up again tomorrow. There are other things, like preparing meals, that obviously cannot wait. Those more urgent things are the only things I want to be caught choosing over quality time with my kids or my husband. For everything else, I prefer to leave them for the spare bits of time (like right now) when I don't have to sacrifice something more important in order to work on them.
I do struggle with that a little. Ever get that feeling of "I just have to get that done"? Like, if one of the girls woke up right now, I'd probably try to finish this entry really fast instead of going straight upstairs and leaving the blog entry for later. I don't know why, I'm just kind of like that. I like things on my "list" to get finished. But slowly I think I'm learning to prioritize a little better, and I'm thankful that God has been working on my heart in this area, because to be honest, I have a lot more respect for myself when I put my children first and don't "sweat the small stuff," as they say.
Okay, wow. They're both still sleeping. Maybe I'll try and get a little work done on The Legend of Talis. Awesome.
But I have every intention of stopping as soon as my kids need me again. There. I said it. Now I'm accountable. :) This blogging thing is awesome.